A Life Like A River

I had always felt my life moved like a river, winding through unexpected paths. Born in a small village, I faced a steady current of responsibilities from an early age including helping my father to look after his cattle. As I grew older, life swept me to the city, where I struggled to find my place in the fast-paced current.

There were moments when obstacles, like rocks in the riverbed, seemed to block my way. I started primary education late, struggled to complete my secondary school, and suffered early retirement. But I learned to navigate around them. Every bend brought new challenges, but also new perspectives, much like how a river carves its way through mountains, forming valleys and creating beauty from adversity.

In my later years, I looked back at my journey and realised that like a river reaching the sea, I had flowed through every stage of life with resilience, never stagnant, always adapting. I embraced the calm of the present, understanding that the turbulent waters of my youth had shaped who I was making me to become a person at peace with my ever-evolving path.

Susan Pilgrim, author of Living InSync, once said, "Life is a series of endings and beginnings." My journey in life began with my birth, and one day, it will inevitably come to an end.

This is the story of my life, a reflective journal of how I have lived. This collection of events captures the moments I remember, highlighs the experiences that have left a lasting impact on me. It begins with a narrative of who I am, my family, and my childhood, and discusses the people who have significantly influenced my life, whether positively or negatively. My journey has been a long one, filled with experiences worth sharing.

Life is education, and education is life. It is a lifelong process that begins at birth and continues to the grave. Education involves acquiring knowledge, skills, values, beliefs, life experiences, and habits. It helps us navigate the complexities of the world - its things, places, and people.

In this book, I share my personal journey through education, from the obstacles that delayed my early start to the excitement of leaving my village comfort zone in pursuit of further learning and what led me to move on to the wider world that is not confined to the country of my birth alone. I discuss the people I met, the actions I took, and those who made things happen. I also reflect on the challenges and opportunities I encountered, both in the classroom and through my engagements with people, experiences, and travels.

My story is not about passing judgement. I cannot judge myself, that is for others to do. Some may see my life as a series of failures and missed opportunities, and they could be right, or perhaps they are mistaken. Others might interpret it as a journey of success, but that, too, depends on their perspective and definition of what success really means. They could be right, or they could be wrong. In the end, what truly matters are the lessons drawn from the path I have walked - the insights gained, the resilience built, and the understanding forged through every choice, whether triumphant or regrettable.

Some define success in life as the accumulation of material wealth, measured by money, possessions, and status. Others see it as a deep, inner happiness that cannot be bought or the profound peace of mind that comes from recognising the supreme power of God. For me, success is more personal: it is being at peace with myself. When I find that inner peace, it radiates outward, allowing me to be at peace with my immediate and extended family, my friends, my colleagues, my neighbours, and my community. It extends beyond the boundaries of personal relationships, creating harmony in the society I am a part of. Most importantly, being at peace with myself allows me to be at peace with my Creator, a state that, for me, is the ultimate measure of a successful life.

However, I have a deep aversion to injustice. Can there be peace without justice? I am not sure. This question is at the heart of the conflict within my personality. My story is about my personal struggle to achieve peace and justice within my family, among friends and colleagues, neighbours, and employers. This has been the driving force behind everything I have done in life. The most challenging people to relate to are those who confidently insist you told them something, even when you are certain you never did. When you deny it, they suggest you have simply forgotten. This behaviour embodies the anxiety of dealing with individuals who manipulate or distort reality, making you question your own memory and perceptions. It’s a subtle yet harmful form of gaslighting, where they cause you to doubt your own sanity or understanding of events.

A child is born with an empty mind, much like a blank slate or an unprogrammed computer. Just as a computer's output depends on the quality of the data it receives, a child's development is shaped by the experiences and learning he is exposed to. In computing terms, this is called "garbage in, garbage out" (GIGO): if the input is poor, the output will be poor. This idea, first proposed by the philosopher John Locke, reflects my own journey through life, shaped by what I have learned and experienced from birth onward.

Family values, traditions, and the local environment were the fundamental forces that shaped my childhood, adolescence and continued to ground me as I grew into adulthood and ventured out into the wider world. At different stages of my life, I made choices about how to live and what paths to follow. However, as a child, the concept of choice was not mine to grasp; it was shaped by the hands of others. I had no control over the circumstances of my birth - my very existence was a decision beyond me. I did not choose my parents’ marriage, the date of my birth, the food placed before me, the clothes I wore, the house that sheltered me, or the people who surrounded me. These decisions were made for me, guided by the culture, traditions, and religious beliefs of those who came before me. Though I had no voice in these early choices, they were the very fabric that wove together the tapestry of my childhood, subtly influencing the contours of the life I would go on to live.

"Show me your friends, and I’ll tell you who you are." This old saying profoundly influenced my decision to include short stories about my relationships with friends, relatives, colleagues, and neighbours -  both men and women, in this book. If this were a book solely about me, it would be weighed down with tedious details of a single life. Instead, as an autobiography, I have endeavoured to share my story with richness and honesty, aiming to make it informative, instructive, and, above all, engaging. I have narrated events strictly from my own perspective, not to pass judgement or to declare who was right or wrong, but to reflect on the experiences that have shaped my journey. This is a tribute to those who have been a part of my life, for better or for worse, and an acknowledgment of their roles in the tapestry of my story.

Some may wonder why I am sharing this story, and they have every right to be curious - or even skeptical. After all, telling one's own story can seem like the easiest task; you are both the narrator and the subject, with full control over the narrative. The temptation to embellish, to shape the story to suit how we wish to be seen by others, can be strong. But while it may be possible to deceive others, one cannot deceive himself. You can hide parts of the truth from friends and family, but you remain forever accountable to your own conscience. As Abraham Lincoln wisely noted, "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time." I am guided by this truth in sharing my story, aiming for authenticity rather than illusion, and for reflection rather than deception.

Throughout my life, I have made many friends, but I have also made many enemies. In this context, "enemies" are not the fire-breathing, fearsome figures of witchcraft and folklore I heard about in my village growing up. Rather, they are sometimes those who were once close friends or family members who, for reasons of their own, felt threatened or unsettled by my attitude and chose to distance themselves from me. It makes me wonder - what it is about my demeanour or behaviour that might cause potentially valuable friends to keep their distance? I have often pondered this question, but I am not certain I have a clear answer. Perhaps it is a mystery I will never fully unravel, a reminder of the complexities of human relationships and the fine line between connection and disconnection.

In my story, I have woven together both the happiest moments of my life and some of the most challenging lows. By reflecting on these contrasting experiences, I hope to explore whether moments of joy ever led to unexpected difficulties, or if the tough times ultimately paved the way for something positive. I believe that in both my highs and my lows, the hand of God was at work, guiding me through each experience. It is His ultimate purpose that gave meaning to those moments, reminding me that both joy and hardship can shape us in ways we may not immediately understand.

In telling this story, I make no apologies for the mistakes I have made, nor do I owe anyone an apology for my actions. My aim is not to defend or justify myself but to reflect honestly on how I have lived and how I have related to friends, family, and colleagues. There have been times when my beliefs were met with strong opposition, and I wrestled with self-doubt. In those moments, I found strength and reassurance in the words of Frederick Douglass: "One and God make a majority." This conviction has guided me through difficult times, reminding me that to be true to myself and my faith is what matters most.

My story is about living a life I was not meant to live, embarking on a journey I was not supposed to make, and reaching a destination I was never permitted to arrive at, but did so through the power and grace of the Most High God. The past serves as a bridge to the future. I cannot go back and change it; it is now history, woven into the fabric of who I am today. 

“Life,” according to Søren Kierkegaard, “can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” While the past has shaped me, my present holds greater significance, that is why it is called a "present." Each day is a gift from God, a new opportunity to grow, learn, and embrace the path ahead with gratitude and faith.

Many things have happened in my life, events I once perceived as bad and others I embraced as good. When faced with hardship, I would often step back and reflect on the nature of God, grappling with the mysteries of His will. During some of the darkest moments, I withdrew into myself, questioning His existence and the purpose behind my struggles. There were times when the weight of these challenges became so unbearable that I wrote a poem confronting God, questioning why I was made to endure such a path. I even wished, in moments of despair, that if I were given another chance at life, I could be created as someone else. But as I have grown and reflected, I now understand that God created me to be exactly who I am, with every joy and hardship serving a purpose beyond my understanding. 

During one of my holidays in Houston, Texas, I had the opportunity to worship at Lakewood Church and hear Pastor Joel Osteen speak. His sermon on "Stepping into Your Divine Destiny" felt as though it was directed specifically at me. The message was spiritually invigorating, arriving at a moment when my spirit needed revival. I truly believe it was part of God's divine plan for me to receive that message. 

Pastor Osteen's words were a powerful reminder of hope and purpose. He spoke about embracing one's true identity and potential, emphasising that "I am who God says I am. Today, I am where God wants me to be. No one can talk me out of my dream. There is a seed of greatness in me, a potential that has yet to be fully realised. I have a unique gift to share with the world. I am on the verge of stepping into my divine destiny."

He reminded me that I possess a buried treasure, an inner greatness that has been overshadowed by disappointments and self-doubt. I have allowed insecurities and low self-esteem to convince me that I am ordinary. But, Pastor Osteen emphasised, God did not create me to be average or ordinary. If God wanted to give me a different gift, make me taller or shorter, change my race, or place me in another country to fulfill His purpose, He would have. God has equipped me with everything I need to be what He has destined for me.

It is time for me to move beyond my comfort zone and into the realm of faith. I am ready to step out of the safety of the familiar and embrace the journey toward my divine purpose.

John Henry Newman wrote, "God has created me to do Him some definite service; He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another. I have my mission, I may never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next. I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons. He has not created me for nothing. Therefore, I will trust Him. Whatever, wherever I am, I cannot be thrown away."

So today, God has spared my life so I can live and tell my story. You might not learn anything from it, but I hope you can see some of the elements that have shaped my life's journey. It is a journey full of ups and downs, hopes and aspirations. It began in one of the remotest villages in Africa, led me through the hills and valleys of Ogidi, and saw me face the valley of death and encounters with wild animals and reptiles. This is the journey I wish to share with you. You do not need to believe in God to discern the forces that shaped it.

I thank God for sparing my life to tell this story, a story I never thought I would be able to do so. First, my command of English was not strong enough to write my story. Second, I have been far too busy earning a living to find time to live a normal life. But that is part of the story.

When I lost my job in 2008, a job I had clung to for over eight years as if my life depended on it, I thought my world had ended. I went through some of the lowest depths of my life. I was afraid to look into the future because it seemed bleak. I drew inspiration from looking back at my past. I began to see where I had come from, the challenges I had faced, the people who had crossed my path, the dangers I had overcome, the enemies I had conquered, the mountains I had climbed, the valleys I had passed through, and the tools I had used to survive the many physical, spiritual and emotional battles I had fought. In that moment of reflection, I went on my knees, raised my hands to God, and said, "I surrender all to Jesus."



Introduction to my memoir titled, "Grace and Resilience, a journey of endurance, hope, and transformation."